Change of Mind......?

I have done a lot of thinking, and I think that I will put off the BDSM lifestyle for now. I know it is something that I would like to explore, but I my marriage needs work. I think we need establish trust with each other before this comes in to play. We have had many issues and I am not sure how to go about fixing them!

I know that I do not want to be this clingy needy wife, but I need constant reminder, well almost constant reminder that my husband thinks I am hot, sexy, pretty, gorgeous, whatever. I want him to boost my self esteem. I want to know that he wants me. How do I get him to do that though? Its so frustrating because there has not been one time that he has told me that I was pretty, or hot, or sexy. The one time he said anything it was to say I was cute. What 24 year old wants to hear her husband call her cute? Why can't I be one of the girls he use to mess around with and flirt with? he doesn't flirt at all with me anymore. I know he has told those girls that he thought they were hot. What is it about me? Is it cause I am a mom? Or his wife? Does that me make me unhot, or unsexy to him? What is it about me that makes him treat me so differently? I...I don't know. It just feel as though something is not right. I am so scared that I am going to turn into that needy clingy wife because I don't know how else to tell him that he needs to find a way to show me or let meknow. I love him so much and he knows how sexy I think he is. But, I know if he doesn't start showing me, on his own, without me pushing him, then I will probably start to pull away from him and our marriage will never be what I want it to. I will never ever cheat on him again, but I won't be as close to him as I would like either. I just want what every female wants. To be with her best friend that she can tell anything to without judgement and know that he feels the same. We aren't there, have never been there,, and I am not sure if we will ever get there. Who knows.................................................